It has certainly been a while since I have shown up in this space.

Whoops.

Life has been a little crazy lately, and school has basically just taken over. I fill my days at home with homework, and most of the time forget that life exists outside of Canvas.

I don’t enjoy doing homework all day, but I have come to find out that it is a good distraction to the other things that I have been feeling.

A little over a week ago, I started taking a new medication to treat my endometriosis and well..

I
AM
NOT
A
FAN
!!!

I am always a little skeptical when I start something new, because I have seen how my body has reacted to things in the past. So I worry.

But my doctor also told me this medicine wouldn’t have many side effects. So I trusted her as I was making decisions about starting.

Well, even though this endometriosis medicine hasn’t had many physical side effects (thank God), it has completely bulldozed over my emotions.

Like I have watched them just come crashing down.

It has been really hard to handle.

Being quarantined is enough to bring on the emotions because I really want to hug my friends and I can’t.

But I decided to start since it’s been a little over a month since my surgery happened, and I couldn’t keep putting off treatment out of fear.

I’m 9 days in and it feels like an eternity already but I am trusting that in 4-6 weeks the side effects will dissipate and I will start to feel like myself again.

In a season like this one where so much has already changed in a short amount of time, I have learned a lot more about the importance of leaning on people, and Jesus.

Part of my issue with being on the Orilissa is that it makes my sense of belonging very skewed. I’m in my head all the time, and that is not a fun place to be.

That has been a constant reminder of my need for Jesus. Because when my thoughts are deafening there is not much else I can do but lay it down at His feet.

Now..do I do that as much as I need to and should? Absolutely not.

I need to grow in that category like. Always.

It’s hard for me to open up when I am feeling off, and there is no doubt that I struggle when it comes to praying and talking to God. I don’t like to bother people and I don’t like to bother God either.

It’s just part of who I am and it kind of aggravates me lol. I want to be able to turn to God and turn to my friends without feeling like I shouldn’t be.

God is still growing me in that. And I am thankful for the love and support I receive from my mentor, and my friends.

This is long, and all over the place, but thanks for reading friends. Sending all the virtual hugs!

-Taylor Kate