Life keeps changing still. I feel sort of out of control of it all. (But was I ever supposed to be in control of it?) Probably not.

I had to change my major again, and I think this is like the third time that has happened. I’ve gotten to the point where I am not as bummed that it had to change, but I am more discouraged because I’m just not seeing a plan.

I’m tired of things changing. It’s so dang exhausting. I want some sort of consistency but that’s just not what is happening.

It’s discouraging not knowing what path to take. It’s discouraging when I can’t see what it is my purpose is. It sends me spiraling into the trap of not thinking I have much of a purpose here.

But even still, I get up, because as long as I have breathe in my lungs, God wants to do something.

And most days it’s a battle. But I still find a little fight in me everyday.

I read something that a friend messaged me this morning and it said “You wouldn’t still be here if there wasn’t more to your story.” And all I can say is wow. I read that and then read it again, because I felt like that was God speaking into my life, and reminding me that He’s not done yet.

I might be done. But God is not finished yet. And that’s all that really matters. If He isn’t finished with me, I can’t be finished with me.

I have spent a lot of time questioning in this season, but we know this. Purpose? Questioned. Worth? Questioned. What kind of coffee I want in the morning? Questioned. (But that answer always ends up being iced, point blank.)

All I can say is thank God that He carries me even when I doubt it, because without His hand holding me I’d be a sinking ship.

I have fought wars in my mind, as I have walked through more of life changing-and it’s time to stop being afraid of the breakthrough.

It’s time to believe God wants to do more.

Because these wars aren’t mine to fight on my own anymore. There is something so beautiful about surrendering the things that have weighed down the heart. It’s freeing. It’s life-changing.

And most importantly it gives God room to do the things that only God can do.

So surrender.

With all uncertainty-surrender, and know, that God in all His power won’t let that act of obedience go unseen.

-Taylor Kate