“How do you speak to yourself on a daily basis?”

I was asked this question a few days ago, and I was convicted, because lately I haven’t been that nice to myself. I’m guilty of it. I haven’t spoken life over my body, or mind. I have been stuck in a trap thinking that my body is to sick to be healed, and that I am hard to love because of the things I’m walking through.

And I have started to believe those things.

But it’s time to break those lies down.

Word by word.

Letter by letter.

Recognizing them as lies from the enemy that are only meant to destroy.

Trading them for truth.

Truth that brings life.

“How does God see you in this season?”

A question that I asked myself.

He sees me as whole, and perfect. What I think is broken, God thinks is beautiful, and how could I sit here and think of something that He created as not good enough?

There is beauty in brokenness. God will use it. God can use it.

I think that worth is something that everyone struggles with at one point or another. And I’m not going to lie, as I am walking this walk, I have struggled on and off with my worth. Some days more than others. I question it when I am sick, and feel like I’m not able to accomplish much. I question it on mornings that I have headaches, and evenings when I am too dizzy to stand.

God can’t be good right now, and He can’t be using these things. How could He bring something good out of this. Right?

Wrong!

My friends still tell me that He is good. Even when I am not feeling good. Even when I don’t get the right answers. Even when I don’t feel like myself.

He is good. And that’s hard to me to type out. And hard for me to believe for myself right now.

But it’s spoken over me daily- by the people He has blessed me with.

There’s something about being stuck in the middle for so long that just makes me feel restless. Like I want to move. But God has me here, and He is forcing me to sit in it. He’s forcing me to surrender control, and trust in Him in the middle of this wilderness, where I don’t really see a way out, but know deep down that there is one-somewhere.

Right now, He’s teaching me to believe truth, and to not believe the lies that creep into my mind.

So here I am-making a brave decision to get up everyday even when I know all I’m going to be doing is waiting.

Speaking truth in the waiting.

There will be life here. In the middle of it all.

Taylor Kate