I’ve reached the point in this season of my life where I am completely ready (at least I think I am) to surrender control aka the wheel- to Jesus. I’ve found myself white knuckling the steering wheel of my life trying to convince myself that I can do this on my own for way too long.

Let’s all laugh together- because it’s not possible.

And if you know me, you know that I am absolutely terrible at asking for help. But God continues to show me that I can ask for help…

and that it is o k a y.

The things I am learning to walk through are scary, and the unknowns are still enough to fill my head with every fear in the world. The enemy is sitting at my throat, taking the breathe out of my lungs.

But guess what? Jesus is there too, and I can picture Jesus and the enemy hashing it out up there for my heart, and my breath. Jesus will ultimately win the battle, it’s just taking me a while to be able to hear Him amidst the noise of the enemy.

Through it all, Jesus gives me community, and friends who walk beside me and intercede on my behalf in prayer.

And it’s so so important to have that. Praise the Lord for His people.

A lady that I babysit for told me that it is when we are in our darkest moments that we have an opportunity to draw nearest to God. He will speak, He will show himself worthy of praise. Choosing joy, choosing life is HARD. Anxiety and fear, once they come around enough, nearly become old friends, and it’s easier to give into those feelings (even when they’re not nice).

Mic drop.

It’s all so true. But in this darkness I haven’t been able to see Jesus well. It’s time to pull out the flashlight aka the Bible, which has been on my bedroom floor for at least a week. I hate to admit it, but it has been SO dang hard to open up that book.

Even though I know that’s where peace lives.

I will lean back in the loving arms of a beautiful Father…and wait for Him to provide answers.

Taylor Kate